A Trip to the Desert Workshop

A Trip to the Desert is a very emotional story, but it takes a very short amount of time to go through. I’m not saying the story is too short (that’s the point of a short story, to be short) but in the story it doesn’t account for any time not mentioned in the story itself. The narrator never hints at events that occur that are not mentioned, so we have to assume that what is mentioned is the entirety of her visit, which would only be about ten minutes. They say hello, enter the house, have coffee, talk, she shows designs, finds out the husband is dead, cries, comforts, talks, and leaves. If you want it to be a quick visit, then make it intentional, you say she doesn’t want to spend the night; so maybe they visited later in the day so she would only have to be there for a few minutes. Or mention a conversation or event that took too long to be completely covered in a short story.   

Also, I think the birds should play a bigger part in the story, they are mentioned in the beginning and end, but not in the middle. If they are a big part of the mother’s life then have them walk across the table, or squawk the entire time they’re there. This could become another reason Cassie doesn’t want to be in the house or around her mother.