Nothing Ever Happens workshop

Nothing Ever Happens is bursting with colorful imagery. The first sentence talks about “crystalline water,” then a “pink ruffled flower.” The story ends with Elijah looking at a “world of color and life,” and color is everywhere in this story. His red blood, glassy eyes, brown hair, every item or event is described using color and imagery to give a better understanding of the action. What makes the imagery work is that it is not used once or twice to describe a few but crucial details it describes everything. It tells a mini-story about a child playing baseball just to describe sweat. It fills the entire story, which is wonderful, but can also be used as a crutch.

            Elijah only changes as a character in the last few lines. He goes from begging God for his life to totally accepting his fate in no time at all. It’s a 180-degree change that only happened in the last few lines of the story. If the story is about your character coming to terms with his own mortality and understanding that he lived a good life, then we need to see what triggers that change. If this is a dream did he see something that reminded him of his fiancé, or his family? Maybe he should be freaking out more in the beginning to show the gradual change.

 
Also, try to avoid starting sentences with “He,” after a while it gets distracting and repetitive.