Departure-workshop

Departure uses detailed imagery not only of what is seen, but what is heard. It opens with the light from the street mixing with the painted ceiling to create a patch of gold. It starts with a colorful image that draws the reader into the story. Later on it talks about the creaking of the floorboards and the blare of the alarm. It evokes a lot of senses and makes the action feel real.

            I do think though that we do not get enough information on the protagonist. Why is she sneaking out in the middle of the night to go to Boston? What is the relationship she has to her mother that makes the end so emotional? Why is this the last night she will be home? If we know this then the stakes would be higher and we would have a better idea of why she does what she does.

            I also feel like it ended too soon. There’s no resolution about anything. Does “released her mother” mean she emotionally let go and then physically left? Does her mother try any other tactics to keep her a few hours longer? It is open-ended which is fine, but because we know so little about the protagonist it is hard to know what she will do next.